TRYINNA GET THIS BAG
So if you've been reading, you know the North Carolina show was a disaster. Illadope and I waited around in North Carolina the next day as long as we could on the bags, but never gotta call from RDU. Finally I talked to someone and they said my bags were in freakin' Baltimore. Damn you Stringer Bell. I arranged to have them dropped off in Richmond the following day, so we can get them before the Charlottesville show. Which leaves me without merch. Again.
AN AFRICAN NIGGA NAMED PRECIOUS
Before I get into the "Search for Merch," lemme tell you how a mf tried to use my name, and THIS SHOW, to scam someone. 8 days before the show, the homie 9th Scientist from Little Rock texts me asking me do I know a nigga named Precious. A Nigerian nigga named Prescious, at that.
No, I don't know any Naija niggas named Precious, for the record.
9th tells me that Precious has a "management company," and offers his "services" in which you pay him $500, he will book you shows with a mininum of $2500. Then he sends 9th a flyer of a show that I'm playing with Poe Mack in Roanoke, kinda leading him to believe he booked the show. He told him he knows me from doing a show in Memphis.
Precious know he a Nigerian ass lie.
Precious round here tryinna use MY GOOD NAME to scam people who he didn't realize was my people. Apart of me is flattered that they think I'm worthy of being scam bait, I can't front. But fuck that. I have a sterling repuation in these indie/underground screets. So I tagged Prescious scamming ass on Facebook, and went live calling him out, only him out, on for him to block me. Ya'll know I love Mother Africa, my bro Joe is Nigerian, but this nigga must be kin to the Nigerians Jussie run with or something. I mean I hate that they gotta be Nigerian too, living up to that Nigerian scam artist stereotype, but shit mane.
THE SEARCH FOR MERCH
Maybe Precious flim flam ass cursed this trip since I blasted him. Who knows? Anyones, back to the merch bag. So yeah, IDK when it's coming back in, and though Poe Mack got the hookup on the room (sans bed bugs) and I have a decent guarantee, I really can't afford to go another night with no merch. So like clockwork, Alfred calls me to check on the show, and I run everything down that happened in NC, as well as the bag situation. He suggests I make up a tour flyer, go to Kinkos and print them out to sell as autographed posters for $10. Not a bad idea. I tell Illadope, and he says we should go find a mall and see if they have a t-shirt printing stand and see if we can finessse something. I look up Fed Ex/Kinkos prices, and they were too expensive, so tees from the middle of the mall it is.
We go to one mall, and they don't have anything left there (this is the Cortana of Roanoke), let alone a tee printing place. So we ask a guy at a sports paraphanelia shop, and he sends us to the "good" mall. We finally get there and find the stand. Illadope asked me do I have cash, I say no, but I can throw him back via cash app. Luckily he has a slice (a $100 bill) on deck, and waits till the brother comes to the front. He tells the bald headed Black mane that we are on tour and our merch bag got lost, and we're tryinna get somethig for the night. He he says we're down to our last $100, and that we need to make something shake. He asks Moses Madome how many shirts we can get for $100 cash, and Oval Headenbacher stops to think for a second, waits for the two white ladies to leave, and says 10 for $100.
Mind you, these tees are $15.99 a piece before taxes, so Heady Murphy is really giving us a deal. Illadope slides him the slizzle, and Tommy Strawn tells us that it'll take 2 hours to print, and that he'll give us a call when they're ready. We go get food at Buffalo Wild Wings in the mall, do some light shoe shopping, and finally Bald Revere calls us and tells us the shirts ready. Illadope designed the shirts on his laptop, it reads "Real Emcees Dont Rap Over Vocals."
So, we get the tees, and head back to the hotel. Had a bout 2 hours to chill before it was time to head to the venue. We pull up ot the Coffee Pot right at 9pm. Alfred told me that they was kinda racist the last time he came, but I don't care. I've been thru so much bullshit this rip, I'm ready and willing to enage in fisticuffs is someone wants to fight. We go in, and see the homies Quanstar, Evaready Raw, and Might Moe Better, as well as Poe Mack. I'm running the stories of the last 2 days to Quanstar and guess who walks in....
THE CRAZY/SLIGHTLY RACIST WHITE WOMAN!!!!
WHAT IN THE SUPER DUPER FUCK!!!
IS SHE A DAMN STALKER TOO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I try my hardest not to make eye contact with her, but I do on accident. She walks over and says hey, and I give her the coldest shoulder I can imagine. I don't have time for this right now.
STIR IT UIP
I order a burger, and mane was that bitch delicious.
That ain't got shit to do with this, but I just felt that I should mention.
The show starts with Prop Joe going first, and he worked as hard as he could, but the crowd was not going. He was hopping off stage and standing on chairs and everything, but the crowd was either just standing on the side or sitting down in their seats. I'm like bruhhhh. This finna be rough.
Next is Quan, Raw, and Moe. They are seasoned performers, who will perform like they are in front of a packed stadium regardless of the crowd. Quan always performs barefoot, and always gives 1000%. I'm really impressed because he was in a terrible car accident in January, and has been nursing himself back to health, going to physical therapy and all, and was still hopping his shoeless ass around like nothing was wrong. gotta respeck that. They finally broke the crowd, but they had to work.
I WANT/DON'T WAN'T ALL THE SMOKE
This venue is an old fashioned road house. The regular crowd is mostly rough & tumble redneck bikers, cowboys, and all other types of white men who love a good bar room brawl, as well as the women who love them. And Virginia hasn't caught up to the rest of the country as it pertains to smoking inside of venues, so them mf's was puffin' all the tobacco in the venue, including by the stage. I asked Poe should I do "Hallelujah," and he said it may be a problem, but he was down to ride if a deplorable wanted plex. Still I'm debating should I do it or not. The inside by the stage had several Black people, it was the bar I was worried about. They look like the type of white folks that barely tolerate niggas. Illadope plays dead prez as he brings me to see how people will react, and the room was indifferent.
*Kanye (before he sold us out) shrug...
I start off with my acapella, and got light love. Then I hit em with "Bad Man," and it took a second for them to warm up. They really didn't know what to expect. Half way thru the song, a group of people in the front all seem to light up cigs at the same damn time. Then Poe Mack walks in front the stage with a lit Black N Mild. I get a good gulf of that cancerous air, and feel my throat burning. Remember this is the first gotdamn song, so I know I gotta nip this shit in the bud asap.
Before I begin "Black God Fresh," I tell the crowd I am not accustomed to the smoke in the venue, and asked them could they refrain from blowing the smoke towards the stage. They were cool about it. The song begins, and the crowd got into it pretty quick, to my surprise. I inform the crowd we're about to go into the "backpack rap" portion of the show, then go into "Principles & Standards," which goes over just a tad above decent. All of the rappers in the room like it, the casual fans were indifferent.
I feel my voice going out because of the smoke, so I take a longer sip of water before "Henry Clay," because I'ma need all the voice I can for the Charlottesville show the next day. I make a conscious effort to dial back my voice a bit, choosing to over exaggerate my movements to sell the the songs, and it worked. "Henry Clay" goes very well, to the point where I look at Illadope and ask, "Should I do it?"
He nods yeah, and I tell the story of the song, honest with them about my reservations. I also tell them I'm with THIS type of smoke if there's an issue. I do my courtesy ask can I say "Fuck Donald Trump," to a resounding yes, surprisingly. Mane I go into it, and it goes off like gang busters. I'm finally moving on all cylinders, so "#FreeBLKPPL" was easy. I end on "Stare & Whisper," going all the way to church, and the crowd went with me. I go to my table, and this white guy with a bikers denim vest meets me at the table to buy 2 shirts to tell me how he likes how I "spoke the fucking truth," and to "never worry about offending these fucking fascist motherfuckers."
ILLADOPE VS. CRAZY/SLIGHTLY RASCIT WHITE WOMEN
I sell enough shirts to cover what I spent making them immediately. There's more rappers for the night, but that's not interesting. What is interesting is how the Crazy/Slightly Racist White Woman is now apparently a stalker.
While we're sitting by my merch table, she asks him to come to her table and talk to him. He tells her with a blank face, "No."
He comes out the bathroom, she asks to come talk to her, he says, "No."
She walks up to the DJ booth WHILE HE'S SPINNING and asks him to talk to her. he says, "No."
Those are just the times I saw with my own eyes. Before we leave, she comes to our table, and says, "It was nice to meet you" to Illadope, and "It's nice to see you again," to me.
Bu bu but wait it gets worse!!! After I break down my merch table, settle up with Poe Mack, and dap Quan & crew up, we head towards the exit only to see this pregnant white lady behind the bar who had been drinking and smoking cigs all night saying "nigga" like Trinidad James on "All Gold Everything." Me & Illadope look at each other like, "Is this real life?"
Hop in the rental, stop by the store for water, head back to the hotel for rest. We gotta get up earlier than normal so we can get my bags in Richmond (a 3 hour ride) by 12:45pm, and be back in Charlotesville by 3:30pm (an hour away from Richmond). We made it out alive, and no, Precious' ass was not there.
Venue: 3.5/5. The performance area was pretty decent, the venue staff pretty nice. Taking off points for the smoke and the white lady saying "nigga" with reckless abandon.
Crowd: 3.5/5. They rocked with me, but I couldn't really get them to put their hands up, to stand up, or to come to the stage. They appreciated what I did, as I do feel I converted them towards the end, but they were a li'l more chill that I prefer.
Sound: 4/5. No real complaints.
Merch: 4/5. I sold enough shirts to make what I spend back, so I'm happy.
Next show: 4/28/19 in Charlottesville, Virginia.